Tales of the Parodyverse

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ag
Thu Aug 03, 2006 at 12:54:31 pm EDT
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Lair Legion Barbeque Part Eleven
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The thick crimson fluid slowly dripped downward. Hungry eyes watched it’s every movement with a strong desire. The owner of said eyes longed for the eventual taste but was forced to wait until the last drop of red substance reached it’s final resting place.

“It sure takes a while.” Fred Alabaster said as he watched the substance slowly engulf the desired morsel.

The Super heroine known as Dancer replied while handing a hot dog to another citizen, “Ketchup is like that.”

“Y’know,” the irritating archer known as Trickshot joined in from his spot behind his barbeque, “with all of that ketchup, mustard and relish, how can ya even taste the dog?”

“Leave him be, Tricky. The condiments help the flavor.”

“WHAT? How the heck can ya help the flavor? I soak those dogs in my famous five-alarm chili! Here! Taste one!”

Dancer looked at the blackened hot dog as Trickshot held it on his shiny two-pronged fork. Strange crimson smoke billowed from the once edible object.

Fred Alabaster and his wife had longed since left so Dancer knew she couldn’t use the helpless civilians as an excuse. “I’m alright, Tricky. Honest. I’ve got to watch my figure.”

“I’m watching your figure. Take a bite. I’m sure it wont hurt the famous Probability Dancer.”

Sarah noticed the strange red dots that were sprinkled throughout the hot dog. She glanced at any possible salvation. Kat and Dominic were in the water, fetching crabs. Jay was talking with Liu Xi by his barbeque. Sarah had already trained her eyes not to look directly at the Manga Shaggoth’s barbeque and Dream was busy with his tongue stuck to Liu Xi’s ice sculpture. There was no choice for Sarah. She reached towards the dangerous morsel even while she tapped her left foot.

Salvation came in the form of an exploding ketchup bottle. Twenty-seven exploding ketchup bottles, in fact. Dancer rolled out of the way while Trickshot ducked then pulled out and notched an arrow.

“What the Hell?”

“The ketchup! They were small bombs!” Dancer explained. People were screaming all over the surrounding front yard.

“Who would do such a thing?” Jay asked as he helped a few civilians to safty.

“ME!” came a muffled voice.

The collected heroes stared with muted shock as a man dressed like a bottle of ketchup (complete with a bucket on his head the shape of the squirt top), standing on a strange, large flow of ketchup, looked down on them. “I’m Kaptain Ketchup and for too long have I been forgotten! I’ve wanted to join your pathetic Lair Legion but each time I was denied! I can control the flow of ketchup, create ketchup from thin air and still you have ignored me! Now, heroes, face red death!”
Thousands of gallons of ketchup flowed all over the Legion.


To be continued?




a.g.
Amazing Guy


This story is written and copyrighted (C) 2006 by Scott Bryan (also known as AG), and may not be
reprinted without permission. Annabelle, Roland, Anthony Foresight, vampirates, Sunset Sal, Amazing Guy, Justin Time, Jack Rabbit, Jackie Rabbit, Desert Rose, Eli the Elemental, Kid Produce, Scott Brunsen, Tom Irving, the JBH, Amazing Bunch, Champion Battalion, Alpha Prime, Blackbird, Mongoose, Fabric, Tyranus, Solarflare, Elastic Woman, Golden Giant, Madam Liberty, Squirrel,
Starglow, Archer, Vindicators, TK, Animaila, Power Urge, Harmony, Ally Cat, Captain Crimson, Blue Jewel, Equindox, Amazing Boy and Moonlord all are properties of Scott Bryan and AG.










Scott’s Site! Featuring Caption the Pic (where action figures talk!) and Amazing Tales on the Web (stories and micros of the Parodyverse!).






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